i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
