talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
