If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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