Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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