i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
