Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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