Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
