the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
