i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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