you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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