Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize