Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
