I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
