ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
