I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
everyone is single if you try hard enough
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
