I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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