I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
