You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
