I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
