so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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