hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
