He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
