Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize