Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
