I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
