didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
