he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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