At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
