I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
