Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just found puke in my bra..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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