dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
