What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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