i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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