you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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