Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
