mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
