I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
