i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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