Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
soo... how was my night?
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