When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
