Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
