I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
