It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
