you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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