I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
