gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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