that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
ttyl tear gas
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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