Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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