wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
