Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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