...so i touched it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
bring money and cleavage
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
