I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
