singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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