I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
