with your own penis?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize