his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
