Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
