im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
