the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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