Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Congratulations! We have a period
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