Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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