Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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