I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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