On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just want to make out with him forever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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