I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
