I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
